


Trouble in Paradise

by jhoom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, gender swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 19:11:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7904320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhoom/pseuds/jhoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Cas gets turned into a woman, Dean freaks out, and Sam has to do damage control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble in Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> i so rarely get the chance to write on weekends, but i had a spare hour and this is the result. fair warning: this is basically just nonsense. this is a fandom trope i've always considered doing, and so i figured why not?
> 
> come yell at me on tumblr [@jhoomwrites](http://jhoomwrites.tumblr.com)

Sam knew it'd be trouble as soon as it happened.

They'd cornered the witch and her familiar in the basement of their photography studio (weird right? witch who did passport pictures and family portraits? definitely a new one).  The witch was bleeding out from a stab wound - Dean's handiwork - and despite the familiar's very _human_  appearance, she was growling at them.  Every time they tried to approach, she'd grab random objects from the witch's altar and hurl them straight at them.  

As Sam dodged a spellbook, he heard Cas hiss out, "This is asinine," before boldly walking forward.  

It was Dean who screamed at him to stay back, but the ex-angel was having none of it.  He strode on with such confidence that the familiar balked at him.  But before he got close enough to grab hold of the startled woman, her shock morphed into malevolent glee as she grabbed a vial and threw it at Cas' feet.

A red mist spread from the impact, encompassing both of them just as Cas reached forward to grab her by the wrist.  It billowed around them, obscuring the rest of what happened.  There were sounds of a brief struggle, and though Dean's anxiety was palpable, it was obvious Cas would come out on top.

But then of course the smoke cleared.

Sam wasn't exactly _wrong_.  The familiar had a bloody nose and was in magically-intoned handcuffs that would prevent her from phasing back into her feline form.  That wasn't the surprising part.

In Cas' trademark trenchcoat and suit stood a tall, lithe woman with messy black hair.  The clothes were far too big, sagging at every point of contact, but even with layers of fabric obscuring her frame, Sam has to admit it.  Jimmy (and by extension, Cas) as a woman was fairly attractive.

"Sonuvabitch," Dean muttered under his breath before turning to look at Sam helplessly.  As though Sam were in any position to fix things.

After quickly assessing the situation, Sam shook his head and pulled out his cell phone to call an ambulance for the witch herself.  They'd deal with the Cas situation later.

They followed the ambulance to the hospital - they still needed to put the fear of god into the witch to stop hurting people - but the drive was tense and silent.  They were going to go together (obviously), but at the last second Dean had handed over his keys to Sam.  

"I'll stay behind and search through the spellbooks to see if I can find out what the hell that chick threw at Cas and how we can reverse it."

Sam and Cas shared a look.  Dean offering to do research?  Yeah that ticked some boxes off on the 'we need to be concerned about Dean' checklist.

"I don't understand."  And wow, even with a higher voice that inflection was definitely all Cas.  "This isn't a critical problem, we can come back when we're finished at the hospital."

"Yeah, Dean, it can wait until we finish this up-"

But Dean had already turned around and waved them away dismissively.  "It's alright, I don't mind."

Which of course left Sam with Cas.  Alone.  In the car.  Trying to field the land mine that Cas opened up with a strained, "Is there something wrong with my form that would agitate Dean?"

Ugh.  Why didn't _he_  volunteer to do the research?

\- - - -

When they went to pick up Dean, he wordlessly dumped a bunch of spellbooks and ingredients into the trunk.  Then, strangest of all, he slipped into the backseat of the Impala and immediately passed out.  

Or at least pretended to.  Sam wasn't convinced.  

As they pulled out of the parking lot, Sam caught a glimpse of Cas as he (she?) frowned and watched Dean.  He didn't have time to really pin down what he was seeing, but he thought there was a hint of disappointment there.

A look that they got to see a lot over the next few days.  

It started when Cas appeared in the library to help research, wearing a pair of Dean’s sweatpants and one of his old shirts.  And presumably no bra, since that wasn’t exactly something they had lying around.  Really they weren’t a whole lot of woman-friendly clothes, and what Cas had picked was the best he could do at the moment.  Knowing Dean, Sam was pretty sure his brother would be over the friggin moon to see Cas wearing his clothes.  Now, however, it only resulted in a scowl so deeply etched in his face it was quite possibly going to become permanent.  

It didn’t get better from there.

There were all the times Dean couldn't stand to look Cas in the eyes, opting for his feet or a spot behind him so obviously off the mark that it strains Dean's neck.  And the time Dean tried to smile at one of Cas' (inadvertent) jokes, but it ended up a pained grimace.  And possibly worst of all was the time he reached to give Cas a reassuring squeeze on the soldier, but caught himself halfway and aborted the motion so abruptly it looked like he was having a seizure.  

Each incident, far from being met with Cas' normal stoicism, received a look that Sam can only describe as profound hurt.  And he hated that his brother is causing it just because he has some repressed bullshit he'd never dealt with. 

To avoid the unnecessary "talk" that this whole thing should've necessitated, they throw themselves into solving the problem.  

"Don't worry, Cas, we'll get you back to normal in no time."  It was the nicest Dean had been since the whole thing started.  

After studying the spellbooks, it became clear it was a simple gender swap spell.  And by simple, he of course meant ridiculously complicated.  The _premise_  was straightforward, but the ingredient list was so obscure it would take them another week to round everything up.  That was, of course, assuming their usual sellers came through for them.

When Cas offered to go purchase some of the out of state ingredients, Dean looked more relieved than he'd seen in a while.  Sam wanted to punch him.

Before Sam could scold him, he disappeared into the bunker's archives to try and get everything else set up.  Coward.

Every day, Cas would call them with an update on his progress.  With no unexpected delays, it was likely they could get this whole mess fixed within the next three days.  

"I think I can be back by Wednesday evening if I continue at this rate."

"Sounds good, Cas."  More and more frequently, Cas would only call Sam and tell him not to bother getting Dean.  Which was pretty damn telling, but what was he supposed to do about it?  "You holding up alright?"

There was a moment of hesitation on the other end of the line.  This was of course the part of the conversation where the standard Winchester lie of "I'm fine" would effectively end all discussion (and though Cas might not be a Winchester per se, it was a bad habit he'd certainly picked up).  But Sam held his breath, hoping that the former angel would open up.

"I... I must say, this is not how I imagined such a scenario would go."

And although he had an idea, he still asked, "What do you mean?"

"I had perhaps assumed that Dean would have reacted more _positively_  to...  There were times I had considered...  I mean, I thought that my vessel was the..."  Cas trailed off and Sam could practically hear the dejected shrug.  "I suppose I was wrong on all fronts.  It's probably for the best that I know that now instead of... well, _instead_."

Listening to a heartbroken Cas was _not_  okay in Sam's book, so after doing his best to cheer up his friend, he hung up and angrily stormed off to find Dean.  Dean, who'd sequestered himself in the kitchen and was doing some serious stress cooking.  (It took monumental effort to ignore his own appetite because _damn_  that roast smelled good - no, focus Sam, _focus_.)

"Dean, we gotta talk about Cas."

His brother, back to him as he rummaged through the fridge, visibly tensed.  "What about Cas?" he grit out.

Sam was way past playing nice and being tactful.  Dean lost that privilege days ago as far as he was concerned.  "You're hurting his feelings with the way you've been treating him.  And honestly, I don't think he's way off base.  You're acting like a real dick about this whole thing."

He expected Dean to play dumb, but his brother surprised him by immediately slumping in resignation.  Closing the refrigerator, he turned around and braced himself against it.  "Fuck, Sam, I know.  I just... I can't help it."  He didn't meet Sam's eyes as he said it, but Sam was honestly a little dumbfounded that he said anything at all.

"You need to get over yourself, Dean.  Stop freaking out just because you're attracted to girl Cas-"

Dean's head whipped up at that and he looked at his brother in complete confusion.  "I'm not attracted to girl Cas."

"Of course you're-"  But something made him stop and actually take in his brother.  Sure, he'd assumed this whole thing would start with a denial, but _looking_  at Dean?  No blush, no yelling, no embarrassment.  He was telling the _truth_.  Frowning, he spread his arms as a small peace offering.  "Sorry, I... I guess I just thought..."

His brother dramatically rolled his eyes before crossing his arms across his chest.  "You gonna let me talk?"  Sam nodded quietly.  When Dean was sure he had his full attention, he went on.  "I mean yeah, if you'd asked me five years ago, I would've said, 'Great!  This is perfect!'  Cuz it would've made things _easier_ , you know?  But now..."

"Now?" he prompted.

Dean blushed and suddenly found the ceiling super interesting.  "Now it just kinda... makes me uncomfortable?  Seeing him like that?  Because yeah it's Cas, but it's also _not_  Cas.  Like, I have to drown out all my other senses just to be able to _hear_  and _see_  Cas in there."

As Dean said it, it hit Sam.  That Dean hadn't really avoided looking at Cas, but his new form _as a whole_.  He _would_  meet Cas' eyes if they were close enough, but anything more than a few feet away he'd scramble for somewhere else to look.

And then there was the soft smile Dean would get on his face when his back was turned to Cas, listening to him talk without having to _see_.  The sultry voice he was now using did nothing to mask the undeniable _Cas-ness_  of what he said and how he said it.  Dean had practically _beamed_  when they'd first put Cas on speaker phone the other night to check in.

Well shit.  

"I just miss him, you know?  His other body or vessel or whatever.  I miss his stubble and his voice and his broad shoulders and his cheekbones and the those _hipbones_ , _fuck_.  And Sammy, he doesn't even sound the same when he _walks_  anymore."  He pulled out a chair by the table and sat, folding in on himself and muttering to the wood, "I mean, if he were stuck like that... I dunno, I could probably get over it eventually.  But... I like him the way he was.  I know it's still Cas in there, but it's..."  He looked up at his brother helplessly and simply said, "I don't like it."

There was... a lot to digest in that.  Seriously.  That was more emotion than his brother showed in your average month, never mind in the span of five minutes.  He felt like he was about to have an aneurysm from simply _witnessing_  it.  And maybe it was that his brain hadn't caught up, but all he could do was gape dumbly for a minute before saying, "So... you prefer Cas as a guy..."

To his credit, Dean only _looked_  at him like he was a complete moron but didn't _say_  anything about it.  "Yeah, I think that about sums it up."

"Okay...  Have you ever thought of maybe, I don't know, _telling_  Cas that?  Because now he thinks you're not into him _at all_ and-"

"Fuck, did he _say that_?"

"Not in so many words, but yeah."

"Can I still fix this?"

"I'm pretty sure Cas thinks the sun shines out of your ass, so yeah, you can probably fix it."

That earned him a smack and a scowl, but he didn't care as long as it meant those two idiots got on the same page.

\- - - -

Dean apparently was into dramatic reveals.  He continued to maintain his distance when Cas returned, even going so far as to leave the room within seconds of Cas entering it.  If Sam hadn't seen Dean's desperate attempts to keep a smile in check with his own eyes, he would've locked the two of them in a room together until they worked their shit out.

But he did wait until they'd set up the counter spell.  Dean was practically bouncing on his feet as Cas droned out the lengthy incantation.  This time grey smoke obscured their vision.  Once it cleared, there stood the Cas they'd known for years.

He still wore a look of defeat, resigned to the fact that no matter what form he took, Dean would never be interested.

"It appears to have been a success-"  Whatever else he'd been planning on saying was lost as Dean rushed forward and pulled him into a bruising kiss.  One Cas enthusiastically reciprocated.  And yeah maybe Sam should leave, because this was skirting the lines of PG-13 and-

WHOA.  Yep, Dean's hand has slipped into the waistband of Cas' pants.  Time to gtfo.

Though maybe it wasn't terrible to hear a bit more before he managed to get out of earshot.

"I missed you so much."  Kiss.  "Thought I'd never get you like this again."  Kiss.  "Can't wait to get you in my-"

Yeah no never mind, this was even worse.

(And he definitely avoided Dean's room for the next week.  Normally he trusted the bunker's sound-proofing, but he wasn't willing to risk it this time.)


End file.
